Let's talk about achievable, non-self-destructive goals for 2020.
Hello readers! It’s ya girl, coming at you from my couch, typing on my iPhone as my MacBook has taken a dump on me for the final time. I am adorned with sweat pants, snot on my arm from one of my sick kids, wearing a breast-milk-stained SocialMama t-shirt, with an overflowing swear jar. I’m hoping this finds you well, that you’re up to your messy bun in unwrapped bullsh*t, some possible debt, and an afternoon coffee that may or may not be spiked with seasonal Bailey's.
I am going to say what we are all thinking. THE HOLIDAYS KIND OF SUCK. I mean let’s be real, Christmas Day? It’s magical. Especially when your kids are young enough to still believe in Santa Clause and you can black mail them into behaving like decent human beings for a month while setting alarms to remind you to move that creepy looking elf just to instill some magic while they’re still innocent.
The days leading UP to said blessed event can be a rat race. Worth it all in the end, despite the huge Christmas morning mess to clean up, decorations to put back in storage, and the timely #newyearnewme posts.
I’ve never been one for the whole black-eyed peas and resolutions tradition. Mostly because I hate black-eyed peas and I’m too flighty for resolutions. That’s actually one resolution I stuck with, realizing and announcing my flaws so people know what to expect out of me.
But I do like the idea of reasonable resolutions. We are raising tiny humans and we do need to improve upon ourselves always in order to set a good example. So here is a list of resolutions and goals I have listed for myself. I think they are flexible enough to share with the world and can be adapted to fit just about anybody.
1. Treat yo self.
Okay so I started this early 😝 Honest-to-goodness, this is something I haven’t done much of in YEARS. Everything goes to my daughters and the household. Like many moms, I have felt my needs slowly slip away. A few months ago, I began working part-time for extra cash and to have a chance to speak with actual adults. To my horror, I realized I FORGOT HOW TO TALK TO OTHER ADULTS. No lie, I accidentally called somebody’s burn a boo-boo. Only thing that could have made it worse is if I kissed it.
By taking the time and budgeting the money to just go out and get my nails or hair done once a month, I’m able to clear my mind and focus on ME and ME ONLY. It has done so much for my self-esteem and my mental health. Taking that time away from my kids and even away from my job to think about absolutely nothing is like a mini vacation. Sometimes I’ll treat myself to a small purchase that brings me joy, like a new purse or some make up (I know I sound basic but I like what I like).
Not into materials or don’t have a whole lot of paycheck at the end of your month? Find the joy in having an hour to yourself in the bath. Your partner can take care of everything. Really not a girly girl? This time can be spent doing anything YOU want (foreign concept, I know). I also consider video games to be quite therapeutic.
The reward and the anticipation of working towards that object is also kind of rewarding, like setting a little goal and achieving it (even if it is a little materialistic). So long as everything else is taken care of, you should be too! Monthly treats promote goal setting, budgeting, and is an easy way to release some serotonin.
2. Establish your career path.
Are you a working mom? Take a good look at your career goals for 2020. If there is a position you want, don’t just wait! Who’s to say 2020 is not your year to get that promotion or receive that raise? Sit down with your boss and explain where your goals lie and ask what you need to learn and what you can do in order to achieve those goals. Showing that ambition just might put you on their radar for a promotion if a position becomes available.
Even if you don’t nail that promotion in 2020, you can still utilize this year to get you on your path to success. It’s not a perfect world and some things take more time than a year, however there’s no reason you can’t get started on setting future goals.
3. Crush it at home.
Stay-at-home momming is 100% a full-time job, but I don’t recommend you pulling your kid aside and asking them what you can do for a promotion. I actually just asked my three-year-old for a promotion to which she responded with, “no I want airplane", so we’re gonna file that under a strong maybe.
Anyways, you can still set goals and crush the stay-at-home mom game and that goes beyond making perfect healthy lunches at home with cute little notes. What have you really been wanting to incorporate into your daily routine? Set aside time every day to work on something you want to learn or do. A lot can be done during nap times or when they’re playing independently. Depending on their age, they also won’t need you all day, every day, so you are allowed to set some time to work on yourself.
This kind of circles back to my first resolution because it is easy to get lost being a mom at home with the kids. It is important to make sure there is something you can regularly work on for yourself. The sky is the limit when bettering yourself, from learning a new language to fostering animals! Everybody has an interest in something you just have to find yours and make it part of your home and lifestyle.
4. Try new activities with your kids.
You can also consider learning something you can do with your child, like how to paint or even how to dance! Learning together and participating in activities with your kiddos can be fun and create new memories.
Do you have young kids who don’t have a ton of interest in things yet? Try learning a new language and then teach it to your kid. They say the best way to learn is to teach. And if you have even older kids, consider picking up a hobby together! How fun would it be to learn photography with your teen? A year of shared interest and activities will likely build a stronger relationship with your children.
5. Begin dating your partner again.
After having kids for a couple years, a relationship can get a little…repetitive. Once a month try and find time to go out, just the two of you. It never has to be fancy, just a place where the two of you can talk uninterrupted. It is so important to take special time away from daily life for just an evening to be with your spouse. Couples who do this tend to have better communication and less arguments.
My goal for this list of resolutions is for them to be reasonable and ADD to the joy in your lives. No resolution should be too difficult or too focused on changing yourself. I hope these are easy to follow and bring you hope and excitement for the future. Cheers to 2020!
About the Contributor:
After seeing her first episode of Gilmore Girls, Sarah Diehl had been obsessed with the idea of becoming a girl mom. Now, she has Audrey and Serenity! Sarah lives in a beautiful and quirky small town on a lake with her dogs, cats, and her husband, Chase. She is a photographer in her spare time because she loves showcasing the world in a different way, something she finds enlightening and inspiring. Sarah is also a MentorMama for SocialMama.