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  • Writer's pictureMorgan Rose, CNM, WHNP-BC, IBCLC

A Conversation with New Parents: 10 Essential Questions to Ask

Welcoming a new baby into the world is an incredibly transformative experience for new parents. During this time, parents need all the support, understanding, and empathy they can get from their loved ones. By asking new parents thoughtful questions, you can deepen your connection and provide the necessary support they need to thrive.

In this blog post, we'll explore the top 10 questions to ask new parents, categorized into questions for personal reflection, questions about the birth experience, and questions about self-care. Let's dive in!


Personal Reflection Questions: These questions seek to understand new parents' expectations, experiences, challenges, and emotions related to becoming a parent and caring for their baby. By asking these personal reflection questions, you are providing emotional support, connecting with new parents' experiences, and discovering ways to support them in their journey of becoming parents and caring for their baby.

  1. What did you imagine parenthood would be like? How is it similar or different from your experience?

  2. What's been the best and hardest physical change you've experienced in pregnancy or postpartum?

  3. What's the craziest day-to-day adjustment you've had to make since having the baby?

  4. What physical or emotional surprises have you encountered since having the baby?

  5. What is it like taking care of your baby? Did you immediately fall in love, or is it taking more time than you expected?

Questions for the Birth Experience: The goal of asking these questions is to provide a supportive space for new parents to discuss and process their birth experience. They aim to address any emotional or psychological needs they may have related to their childbirth and to facilitate a deeper understanding of their feelings and concerns. You give a new parent validation, empowerment, and an outlet to process how they felt during their birth experience.

  1. Is your birth something you'd like to talk about or process? If so, what was the hardest part?

  2. What was the easiest part during the birth experience? What was the hardest?

  3. How do you feel about the way you were treated during labor?

  4. Do you have any questions about what happened during your birth or the rationale behind specific interventions or decisions? We can make a list and contact your OB provider to get more information.

Questions for Self-Care: By asking these questions, you enable new parents to recognize and prioritize their own needs, while also providing them with a supportive network that actively contributes to their well-being. By creating an environment where self-care is valued and supported, you contribute to the overall physical, mental, and emotional health of new parents, helping them navigate the challenges and joys of parenthood with a greater sense of balance and fulfillment.

  1. Would you like someone to take the baby so you can have time for yourself?

  2. Do you want us to clean up so you can rest with your baby?

  3. What's one thing that makes you feel like 'you'? How can we help you do that today?

By engaging in these conversations and providing emotional support, you can make new parents feel more validated, understood, and supported in their transition to parenthood. While individual needs may vary, offering small gestures of comfort, such as providing something to drink, eat, or arranging pillows for their comfort, can further enhance their well-being.


Additionally, consider enhancing moments of rest to help new parents recover. You can offer to turn on soothing music or a snack while they are feeding the baby. These acts of care and kindness can contribute to creating a nurturing and supportive environment for new parents as they embark on this transformative journey.

By asking these questions, you demonstrate your genuine care and concern for the new parents' well-being. Remember to actively listen, offer support, and provide assistance whenever possible. Each new parent's journey is unique, and your thoughtful questions can help them feel seen, understood, and valued.


Questions for Ema, our AI companion:

  1. Are there any additional questions you recommend asking new parents to provide support?

  2. How can I create a comfortable and relaxing environment for new parents to share their birth experience?

  3. Can you provide tips for practicing active listening when engaging in conversations with new parents?

  4. How can I offer practical help to new parents without overwhelming them?

  5. Are there any resources or books you recommend for further understanding the challenges of new parenthood?

  6. Can you provide suggestions for maintaining a strong support system for new parents beyond the initial weeks?

Asking the right questions can be a powerful tool in supporting new parents during their journey into parenthood. By showing genuine interest, empathy, and willingness to help, you can make a positive impact on their well-being and strengthen your relationship with them. Remember, the transition into parenthood can be overwhelming, and your support and understanding are invaluable. Approach conversations with compassion and be open to their unique experiences. Together, we can create a nurturing and loving environment for both the parents and the new bundle of joy.


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